red lead

 Another red lead lady? Are you mental? You don't want a different colour? Perhaps anyone of this kaleidoscopic range in my suitcase, just red? Like your bag and that hat and that lead you ALEADY HAVE.  £24.99 please.

such fun

This is so fun, oh it's really fun, isn't it? Is it? You're right it's the best fun ever! I love these old cars with their lack of and suspension and speed and windscreens and doors don't you?

imaginary friend

This is by Great Grandad Douglas with his imaginary friend loose Lucy, 

the adventures they got up to.

Tit tennis

?

scribbles

I don't understand it, but I wish it landed on my doorstep.

spit roast

Non descript burning animal carcasses and self-mocking hats, check.