Jem Cook, prisoner of war, a captive for crimes against music and fake alluring. Sentenced to a life of obscurity.
unreplicable dog
The Dog; he thinks in a visual language that he can see which is distracting and can make him look a bit gormless like he can't even think about stakeholder pensions or something.
r.kelly kids
The R.Kelly: he leans, he thinks about things grown men should't think about. The mist comes, with it the local police department with his latest release because you can imprision such talent.
seagull spider
The seagull; he sits, angry, looking out over the great whispy spider web that smothers the Algarve, he thinks, he makes an annoying sqwark, he dies.
sue lawley
Power smiles, power fringe, AND she read the mother-f**king nineteen nineties news, deal with it.
red lead
Another red lead lady? Are you mental? You don't want a different colour? Perhaps anyone of this kaleidoscopic range in my suitcase, just red? Like your bag and that hat and that lead you ALEADY HAVE. £24.99 please.
such fun
This is so fun, oh it's really fun, isn't it? Is it? You're right it's the best fun ever! I love these old cars with their lack of and suspension and speed and windscreens and doors don't you?
imaginary friend
This is by Great Grandad Douglas with his imaginary friend loose Lucy,
the adventures they got up to.
shit fountain
And the centrepiece of this cuboidial creation of architectural beauty, a fountain so staggering several brightly coloured jumper wearing humans will gather for seconds to bask in it's majesty.
hand bridge
Do I look impressed? You're gonna have to duck that tosspot of a head to get under this bastard hand-bridge.
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