plane c

Too close.

theatre c

This scene, some 60 years ago looks better than the panto that we have today, and they didn't even have a set.

christmas log c

She's looking at the photographer in a way that if he had a penis he'd better keep it safe.

tree fell c

Looking at things that have blown over is the main form of entertainment in North Yorkshire. 

flower jumpers c

Teenage tie and jean wearing lesbians need all the embroidered wool they can get this winter because that faux porcelain love bowl can get mighty cold. 

christmas light c

The somewhat vivid illuminations made the moon bleed.

greedy fat girl porridge c

After the porridge, it's cat a la bow tie.

father weirdo c

Just cos his hat's red...

cat c

Yes the cat loves borders.

nottinghill enders

Nottinghill carnival in the living room, Eastenders checkmate.


That lepricorn looks like a right trickster maybe even a bit of a cunt. I wouldn't trust anything on his map and I think he stole that suit from an elf.

style warrior

What a sword point and sharp moustache topped off with the most delightful flowing black ponytail, whatever severely outnumbered war he's fighting, he's no fool, for style.

goodbye otter

Say goodbye, goodbye!

yellowed sunset

A yellowed stereotype, wondrous.

lick shit

This absurd little creature is; Noel Fielding's muse, the inspiration for the 60's sci-fi series timeslip and Queen of all liquorice shitters.

spanish herb

A 70's request for spanish herbs.


The baby, the stupid, little, recently born baby can do it.  So why can't Frank or Nancy look at the camera? Because they're baby traffickers, that's why. Always looking for an exit even though they paid to get a portrait, that's just the way they work, god damn angular.


B,B,B,B, Baskets!



Oh no! Scraps has just ran off, where the hell can he be?