E bar 'eck

Eee bar 'eck as like, bloody lambs tall'over every bleeding where.  Ruddy nora.

my octopus

"A pimple! I simply can't face today, where's my octopus?"


People don't use Prat enough, and for that matter; dickhead, twerp, wally, knobber, tosspot, divvy and bumface.


The essentials every Italian child needs to learn.

woman weave

The woman, she cannot weave. The woman, she can finger a wheel.

knitted waistcoat

If I stay still enough, I might not exist as me, wearing a knitted waistcoat.

link centre

 This is where the known world comes for links, Swindon. The Swindonite's built a strutty palace for all of them, every last link that has ever existed, anywhere.  44 floors below the ground, 700,000 sq feet, 9 million plastic trays, all brimming with low quality links.  A wonder this delightful exterior only teases at. What a tease.   

gladis mood

I feel like she looks 6 in every 7 days.

elephant postcard picture

Old postcards are right nice backgrounds for paintings, the elephant said.


"You got any postcards of teenage girls shaving?"

1990's photoshop

Welcome to Photoshop in the 1990's, where everything with a filter on it was bodacious, even if it meant having to pick up your face. Whoop, there it is.

Competition nude

This was entered into The Sunday Times' competition, I hope it won.

Adam Kennedy's jizz

Adam Kennedy’s son must of caught Dad distressing stray dogs to land the job of drawing his company's postcards.

Stuart Lee

What a lounge.

Biggest Big Ben’s

The Biggest of the Big Ben’s is melting into parliament!  
Nice weather for sailing mind.

waves oval

I got time for this, it's a lovely lovely.

James want’s Tracy

     James want’s Tracy, Tracy wants carrots, little Kevin wants to stop touching himself.

teenager mark 1

Jason Manford as a modern teenager 

unfinished hands

Jason Manford's teenage friend / boyfriend (unfinished hands)

child soldier chic

Jason Manford's teenage boyfriend / friend / child soldier.  Complete with dog tags of fallen child comrades, blood stained shirt, mud hut hair and vacant 3 yard stare.

obligatory teenage girl

Obligitory teenage girl *

Needs more gold